Advice after your nerve block for surgery
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When is specialist counselling support helpful?
No one plans for or can anticipate the loss of a baby. It is a deeply personal experience which affects people differently. While some women and their partners recover quickly, others take a long time. Some cope well at the time but find the pain of their loss affects them later.
There are some emotional experiences which are common to women and their partners following the loss of a baby which may relate to:
- Waves of unexpected and overwhelming emotions
- Persistent feelings of guilt and unrelenting “what if...” thoughts
- Grief which develops into relentless and debilitating depression
- Overwhelming numbness or insurmountable sadness
- Fear and ambivalence about subsequent pregnancies
- A sense of emptiness and despair about ever having a healthy baby
- Lingering traumatic loss which affects a subsequent pregnancy
- Tension in relationships
- Difficultly explaining the loss to older children in the family
- Conflict with the partner about plans for future pregnancies
If any or all the above resonate with the way you feel, you may find it worthwhile to engage with counselling.
What is counselling?
Counselling is a talking therapy delivered by a trained practitioner, making use of a range of therapeutic interventions to help bring about effective change and enhance wellbeing. Our thinking patterns can lead us into states of anxiety, depression, or anger; at times we may
experience insurmountable and overwhelming sadness.
The counselling process offers you a trusting, open and supportive environment to share difficult feelings and thoughts, gain insight into your experience and find ways to facilitate desired shift to improve your mental and emotional wellbeing.
Confidentiality is paramount to successful counselling. However, your counsellor may be required by law to disclose information from the sessions if they have a reason to believe there is a risk to life, child protection or safeguarding concerns, threat to national security or a legal obligation to do so. In the unusual situation of deciding to break confidentiality, all efforts will be made to involve you, and you will be informed. The confidentiality policy will be explained when you meet the counsellor.
How do I access counselling?
Speak to the Bereavement team, your consultant, doctor or assigned midwife if you wish to access counselling. They will be happy to refer you to the counsellor if you meet our referral criteria. The counsellor will get in touch with you and book you for a counselling assessment session as the first step.
The assessment session is an opportunity for you to meet your counsellor and for your counsellor to gather relevant information to gain a good understanding of your situation. At the end of the session, if you are deemed suitable for short-term counselling support and you wish to proceed, weekly counselling sessions are booked.
Helpful resources for further support
Contact our Bereavement Midwives for support.
They are available Monday- Friday, during office hours, on 0782 432 1964 or 0300 613 3578
Frimley Park Hospital chaplaincy: 0300 613 4184
National support and information
SANDS (stillbirth and Neonatal Death Charity) Helpline: 0808 164 3332 Website: www.
Meet the counsellor
“I believe there is no right or wrong way to feel after losing a baby. Losing a baby at any stage of
pregnancy and childbirth can create immense grief. Many women and their partners find counselling helpful to come to terms with what’s happened after the loss of a baby. I offer a safe and compassionate space for you to share your loss, make sense of your experience and express your
concerns and anxieties that the loss has stirred up in you. The counselling process is aimed to help you see things more clearly; perhaps from a different point of view, enabling you to find a way to
navigate and work through the situation to embrace life fully”
Shefali Agrawal- Specialist Maternity Counsellor
Integrative Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Reg. MBACP(Accred.)
PG Dip Psychotherapy & Counselling
About this information
Reference:
GG/004
Approval date:
20 June 2026
Review date:
1 July 2027
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Important note
This page provides general information only. It is developed by clinical staff and is reviewed regularly every 3 years for accuracy. For personal advice about your health, or if you have any concerns, please speak to your doctor.